I am one hot mess. I’ve got so much you-know-what coming from God-knows-where it’s a wonder I can even function these days. Which brings me to my point: I’m not functioning. Not very well, anyway.
In a nutshell, I have a sick doggie – our sweet, 10-year-old German Shepherd – who is going pretty fast. Not good.
Then there was the too-horrible-to-bear news of the sudden loss of two children in my blogworld as well as the punch-me-in-the-guttedness of a suicide of a student – an incredible kid – at my son’s high school. The latter took its toll on the entire family in a way I’ve never seen.
Add to the mix an opportunity – heck, a likelihood – of leaving the comfort of the position I’ve held for 21 years (and which I love) to take an administrative position. A position which holds more “title,” if you will, more money, and the opportunity to do something completely different. Completely.
And it’s making me miserable.
Why, you ask*?
Because I didn’t seek it out. Because I was happy doing what I was doing. Because I love my office and my coworkers and the niche I’ve created for myself.
So why go, you ask?
Because I have the opportunity to move into an administrative position and make the salary that is not, and would not, be available to me in my current position. Because my husband’s job hinges on a grant, year after year, that may or may not get approved from one year to the next.
So what’s best for me, personally, is not what’s best for my family.
Also, I have a suddenly grown 14-year-old who is suddenly graduating from middle school and who is suddenly going to be a high schooler. And I’m in charge of the awards dinner. You know, with all the free time I have. Then, I have a 17-year-old that is about to be a senior and who has no. Earthly. Idea. What.To.Do.With.His.Life. (I’ve suggested, rather politely, that he needs to figure out what to do about his English grade before he figures out what to do about his life.)
Emotional much?
Oh, I got stuff.
(*Assuming, arguendo, that you do ask. Or would. Ya know.)
April 21, 2009 at 2:38 pm
I find this time of year to be stressful for most everyone. The school’s are winding down and trying to cram in every last activity, there’s the Easter holiday thrown in there, graduations, proms, vacation planning, etc. It can quickly consume a person. {{{Hugs}}}
April 21, 2009 at 4:10 pm
I do love you terribly, though.
April 21, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Wow tumultuous or what! At least you’re going to a ‘higher’ position. Just lost my job and back on the streets looking for something new. I was comfortable too . . .well out of the zone now! Good luck with all the organisation . . if anyone can do it, you can!
April 21, 2009 at 5:35 pm
You’ll figure it all out. I have faith in you!
April 21, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Wow. That’s a lot to go through all at once.
Thoughts and prayers to you and yours through all of it. Especially the loss of the teen to suicide.
April 21, 2009 at 9:43 pm
The new spot here looks fab!
If it were not for stress, I’d have little else these days, so I feel ya.
Congrats on the new position. You’ll be great.
April 22, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I understand why you’re contemplating this position. Same reasoning behind me contemplating getting a REAL job, rather than consulting.
…but a real job wouldn’t allow me to work from home.
…but consulting isn’t stable
…but a real job wouldn’t allow me to pick and choose what I want to do
…but I have to sell myself if I’m a consultant
…etc.
…etc.
…etc.
Your dilemma is well understood.
I’m so sorry about your dog, along with the rest going on. When I’m over-stressed, I completely shut down. I’ve been shut down for the past three months and I’m starting to feel the sunshine peeking through.
April 22, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Thoughts, prayers, virtual cookies. You have ’em.
I have no doubt that you’ll forge yourself an even equally cozy niche in your new position, and in 21 short years you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.
April 24, 2009 at 11:08 am
….
wow.
would a nice cocktail help? 😉
April 24, 2009 at 3:19 pm
I’m sorry about Champ. I know how devastating it is to lose a beloved pet.
April 25, 2009 at 12:46 am
I’m sorry about Champ, I know that was a sad loss for all of you. Sometimes life throws around too much of the hard stuff. I hope things are better soon.
April 30, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Hugs!!!