Random


Interesting things can happen when your dog dies.

You all know about Champ. We miss him terribly.  But I don’t think the humans in the family miss him as much as Lucky, our black lab, does.  She’s miserable.  And she needs a buddy.  We weren’t ready to invest the time (and certainly the emotion) into getting another dog already, but we’re worried about Lucky.  So, it’s been tentative.  We look, we stop, we grieve a little. We look some more.

Friday, Mr. Nerd decided to stop at a home near where we live.  There had been a hand-lettered sign advertising AKC registered German Shepherd puppies.  So he figured he’d take a look.

And here, folks, is where the story gets interesting.

Mr. Nerd pulled into the driveway, where he was motioned where to park by a woman at the front door.  He approached the house.  The woman apparently (ha!) knew what he was there for.  She told him to come in.  He followed her in.  As soon as they got inside the house, she locked and deadbolted the door.  At that point, Mr. Nerd just wrote that off as her being alone at home and being cautious.  (Yeah.  With a strange man.  What-EVER.)  She proceeded down the hall.  Mr. Nerd hesitated, but given that the puppies were new, he assumed they were in a box in a bedroom.  Mmm hmmmm.

They entered the bedroom.  Mr. Nerd stood in the doorway, looking around for the puppies.  PuppyMama turned and sat on the bed.

Smiled.

Reached over and closed the blinds.

Did you catch that?  REACHED OVER AND CLOSED THE BLINDS.

Mr. Nerd retreated.  PuppyMama said, “You’re not nervous, are you?”

Mr. Nerd steeled himself, looked her dead in the eye, and said, “I am here. To. Look. At. The. Puppies.”

PuppyMama answers, “Oh.  They’re outside.”  She left the room, followed by a shaken Mr. Nerd.

“We have three females and one male left.  What’s your name, by the way?”

Mr. Nerd gave her a fake name and proceeded toward his truck.

“I’ll be in touch.”

Yeah. Right.

You bastard.  You saw me.  You heard me.  You looked right at me as I started running down the hall (yes, in em-effin’ heels) calling out to you to hold the elevator.  You looked right at me, and then you got on the elevator and let the doors close.

I never liked you.  I always saw you as an arrogant little pr*ck.  In your pricky little car.  Or when you rode your bike to work but chose to wear that full unitard getup and walk into the building.  But I chose to ignore you.

But now?  I’m pissed.  And I’ll let you know – eventually – one way or the other.

In the meantime, I’d like to introduce you to my group of innernet friends.  They’re brutal.  And in my comments, they will assist me in wishing upon you every discomfort.  I’m warning you now — this could get pretty miserable.

Okay, friends.  It’s up to you.  Please enter your punishment/plague/affliction upon this insufferable gentleman in my comments section.  Feel free to be creative.

I’ll start.

To the jackass who didn’t hold the elevator, I wish upon you:

  • A raging case of jock itch with a side order of painful hemorrhoids.

I am one hot mess.  I’ve got so much you-know-what coming from God-knows-where it’s a wonder I can even function these days.  Which brings me to my point:  I’m not functioning.  Not very well, anyway.

In a nutshell, I have a sick doggie – our sweet, 10-year-old German Shepherd – who is going pretty fast.  Not good.

Then there was the too-horrible-to-bear news of the sudden loss of two children in my blogworld as well as the punch-me-in-the-guttedness of a suicide of a student – an incredible kid – at my son’s high school.  The latter took its toll on the entire family in a way I’ve never seen.

Add to the mix an opportunity – heck, a likelihood – of leaving the comfort of the position I’ve held for 21 years (and which I love) to take an administrative position.  A position which holds more “title,” if you will, more money, and the opportunity to do something completely different.   Completely.

And it’s making me miserable.

Why, you ask*?

Because I didn’t seek it out.  Because I was happy doing what I was doing.  Because I love my office and my coworkers and the niche I’ve created for myself.

So why go, you ask?

Because I have the opportunity to move into an administrative position and make the salary that is not, and would not, be available to me in my current position.  Because my husband’s job hinges on a grant, year after year, that may or may not get approved from one year to the next.

So what’s best for me, personally, is not what’s best for my family.

Also, I have a suddenly grown 14-year-old who is suddenly graduating from middle school and who is suddenly going to be a high schooler.  And I’m in charge of the awards dinner.  You know, with all the free time I have.  Then, I have a 17-year-old that is about to be a senior and who has no. Earthly. Idea. What.To.Do.With.His.Life. (I’ve suggested, rather politely, that he needs to figure out what to do about his English grade before he figures out what to do about his life.)

Emotional much?

Oh, I got stuff.

(*Assuming, arguendo, that you do ask.  Or would.  Ya know.)

Ok, if you guys are happy to hear from me, finally, after a very long blogdrought, you have the awesome Tiff to thank.  See, she posted one of those “Ten Things I Love That Start With the Letter…” memes and, of course, she rocked it (and she had the letter “U”).  And rather than tagging folks (oooh, the hate), she simply offered to give readers a letter if they wished.

So I wished.  (I also warned her that if she gave me a tough letter I’d just shut the whole damn operation down.)  And I got a “B”.  So now I have to tell you ten things I like that begin with the letter B.  God, even I should be able to do this.

So, here are my ten, in no particular order.  And dude.  This is so random.

Bush (as in George W):  Ok, ok, stop with the hissing.  You got your candidate in.  You’ve got your president.  Give me this.  I like him.  I like his family.  I like his Johnny Carson-esque facial expressions.  And I even like his misunderpronounciations and misunderuses of words.  Sue me.

Baked beans. (Told you this was random.)  The good kind.  Made with lots of brown sugar.  I have a fabulous recipe, but the way, but right now I’m thinking of the ones at Voodoo BBQ.  And, um, damn.

Beer. Yeah.

Blogfriends. You guys rock.

Books. As much time as I spend on the computer, nothing comes near the pleasure of riffing through the pages of a good book.  Spare me your books on tape or Kindle.  Give me a real, old-fashioned book any day.

Bed, Bath & Beyond. I can spend hours in that store.   And dollars.  Many dollars.

Birthdays. I don’t like when people downplay them.  Enjoy them!  And, speaking of,  join me in wishing two incredibly important people a happy one — Tracy Lynn, who is almost the coolest thing evah, and my very own Mr. Cool, who IS.  And he’s turning 17 tomorrow.  Now he can go to big boy jail.  (And I keep reminding him of that very thing.)

Brownies. Yum.

Baseball. Especially college baseball.  Especially when it’s LSU playing college baseball.  And when they are ranked 1 or 2 in the preseason (depending on who ranked ’em).

Basketball. On that same note.  College only.  The difference between NBA and college ball is like the difference between that slimy, canned asparagus and fresh.  Two different things – one of them really, really gross.

And that’s it.  Surely there’s more, but these were the first that came to mind.  Enjoy.

And be sure to go wish Tracy Lynn a happy birthday.  Because I do NOT want her mad at me.

Ok,  WordPress has seen fit to redesign their dashboard.  The problem is, I can only see half of my post.  So I have no idea how the right side of the post looks.

That said, I’m leaving you with this.  It’s good for a laugh.  Particularly if you’ve ever been the recipient of a less-than-ahem-thoughful gift.

Enjoy.

I’ll be back when I figure out how to work this thing.

Wheee! An award! And from one of my home girls, Andie at Sweet.Southern.Spirited!

According to the rules, I need to list 6 things that make me happy!  Which is a great exercise this week, when I really need to stop – breathe – repeat.  And be thankful.

So here goes:

1. My family.  We’ve been through a lot and have come out stronger as a result.

2. My blogfriends.  You guys rock.

3. This time of year.  From now until New Years’.

4. Ending this year with no one in my extended family having to deal with unemployment.  It’s been a long time since that happened.

5. Cooking a meal and enjoying it with family and friends.  (Stole this one from Andie.  She and I are twins separated at birth.)

6. Paying bills and having money left over.

So here are the rest of the rules!

List 6 things that make you happy.  (Did that!)
Pass the award on to 6 bloggers for Kreativ.
Link to the blogger who gave you the award.
Link to the blogs receiving the award.
Notify the recipients.

If you guys don’t mind, I’m gonna have to give the remainder of the instructions some thought.  There are many folks that come to mind — indeed, the people that are in my feedreader are there because they ARE creative, and there are way more than six of them.  To make it worse, many of them don’t like being tagged.  So I am in a bit of a dilemma, and I hope that Andie forgives me for bending the rules a bit.

Oops.

Babysat two adorable one-year-old boys all day while their mom and dad went to the LSU game.

Came home, fed family dinner, and found a splint for my wrist. (I think now that I aggravated my carpal tunnel syndrome, which I’ve already had surgery on once but had started bothering me again.  Even more so with the left hook to the washer incident.)

What does this mean to you?

Nothing.  Except that I have nothing to post about.

So, oops.

And ouch.

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