I am one hot mess.  I’ve got so much you-know-what coming from God-knows-where it’s a wonder I can even function these days.  Which brings me to my point:  I’m not functioning.  Not very well, anyway.

In a nutshell, I have a sick doggie – our sweet, 10-year-old German Shepherd – who is going pretty fast.  Not good.

Then there was the too-horrible-to-bear news of the sudden loss of two children in my blogworld as well as the punch-me-in-the-guttedness of a suicide of a student – an incredible kid – at my son’s high school.  The latter took its toll on the entire family in a way I’ve never seen.

Add to the mix an opportunity – heck, a likelihood – of leaving the comfort of the position I’ve held for 21 years (and which I love) to take an administrative position.  A position which holds more “title,” if you will, more money, and the opportunity to do something completely different.   Completely.

And it’s making me miserable.

Why, you ask*?

Because I didn’t seek it out.  Because I was happy doing what I was doing.  Because I love my office and my coworkers and the niche I’ve created for myself.

So why go, you ask?

Because I have the opportunity to move into an administrative position and make the salary that is not, and would not, be available to me in my current position.  Because my husband’s job hinges on a grant, year after year, that may or may not get approved from one year to the next.

So what’s best for me, personally, is not what’s best for my family.

Also, I have a suddenly grown 14-year-old who is suddenly graduating from middle school and who is suddenly going to be a high schooler.  And I’m in charge of the awards dinner.  You know, with all the free time I have.  Then, I have a 17-year-old that is about to be a senior and who has no. Earthly. Idea. What.To.Do.With.His.Life. (I’ve suggested, rather politely, that he needs to figure out what to do about his English grade before he figures out what to do about his life.)

Emotional much?

Oh, I got stuff.

(*Assuming, arguendo, that you do ask.  Or would.  Ya know.)

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