. . . when they are getting up to stand in line on Black Friday for a must-have laptop for Miss Priss, that is…

  • Why did I have children?
  • Can’t she just put the desktop computer in her lap?
  • No matter how much makeup you put on, at 3 a.m. your face looks like a potato.
  • God it’s dark.  The only people on the roads are drunks and idiots.
  • And I haven’t been drinking.
  • Heck. I thought I looked bad, but that woman must have thought she wasn’t going to see anyone.
  • What was I thinking?
  • I wonder if the Waffle House employee that ambled over here to see what all the fuss was about (and decided to stay in line for the remainder of his shift) actually clocked out.
  • Of course he didn’t.
  • Think he’ll go get me a coffee and hash browns scattered, smothered, chunked, and covered?
  • Nah.  He just went to sleep on the sidewalk.
  • Little b*tch better remember this when I’m in diapers.

All is said and done now, and the new laptop – oooooooo, shiny – is safely at home.  As am I.  With leftover turtle cheesecake.