First, I’m gonna need a little help here. Here is one of the most popular search terms used to access my site this morning:
עוגה 40
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Ok. Now down to bidness. Actually, not down to bidness. If I were actually doing what I’m s’posed to be doing right now, then THAT would be getting down to, well, you know. But I’m not.
I had some ideas for a post as a result of the night-from-hell I had a few nights ago. And if I had had a laptop, I could have sat on the floor right then and there and told y’all about it, but I didn’t. So now, a lot of it is lost. But in a nutshell, here it is.
I had no idea that so many people in this area knew who David Sedaris was. I mean, heck yeah, he’s popular, and all of his books hit the bestseller list, but dayum. Here? Anyway, he was here. He was here to talk, and make us laugh, and sign copies of his newest book. So I went to B&N on my lunch hour, got wristbands for myself and for buddy Kristie, and thought all was right with the world. My hot pink wristband ensured me a place at the talk as well as a great spot in line for the signing.
Funny thing, good spots in line. They somehow lose their magic when over 1000 people show up.
We got there around 6. And stood. And stood some more. The gracious folks at B&N passed around samples of cookies, party mix, and Red Bull (that’s when I knew the average age of the crowd clocked in at about 19.2). Ate. Stood. Browsed. WHY WASN’T ANYTHING HAPPENING???? I people-watched. Some folks came straight from work. Most came from campus. Others, I’m afraid, don’t get out much, as evidenced by their FORMAL GOWNS. Some couldn’t be bothered with the small things. Like bathing. Some had not had conversations with other people in, like, decades. Others had never had a conversation. Who were these people and where have they been? Had Mr. Sedaris been mingling with the crowd, he’d certainly have found material for a couple more chapters.
The line never moved. At 7, the inimitable Mr. Sedaris stopped signing and started talking. He read several selections from the new book, then took questions from the audience. (Buddy, if that’s the best question you can come up with, put your damn hand down.) One woman in the audience asked if he wanted to have dinner with her and her friends later. He responded graciously, saying it looked like he was going to be there for quite awhile, but thank you.
After his reading and discussion, he said he’d sign till everyone was gone. We stood some more. We sat. I think I finished War & Peace. The line barely moved. Kristie finally said she had to bail — it was late. I found out that she wasn’t even getting a book signed — she was there to hear him and keep me company. Is that a cool friend or what?
At 10 p.m., I started thinking of reasons to stay. I started saying things like, Ok, if we are out of the teen section of the store by 10:05, I’ll stay.
At 10:15 p.m., I had read the book covers of every teen book B&N had to offer.
At 10:20 p.m., I started thinking of reasons to leave.
At 10:20 & 30 seconds, I started wondering why a signature was so important anyway.
At 10:21 p.m., I left.
I read that he signed until 2:00 a.m.
Know what? There are some trashy books written for teens.
June 25, 2008 at 11:26 am
I’m sorry you didn’t get your book signed. That’s awfully nice of him to be signing so late (early?). I love him and love his books, but even I would have bailed long before you did.
June 25, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Yes, you definately were more patient than I would have been but it still sucks that you didn’t get a book signed. I think book stores often underestimate these events. But what I want to know, is he as neurotic in person as he is in his books???
June 25, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Oh, I wonder if he will be in Raleigh (his hometown) during this tour? I’ll have to check it out and see – although I’d not wait until 2am for anyone!!
June 25, 2008 at 12:56 pm
@flybunny: Absolutely. If not more.
June 25, 2008 at 1:00 pm
If it were Terry Pratchett I would have stayed, but only for him. And they say no one reads anymore.
Is it weird that my spell check knows the correct way to spell Pratchett? I tend to put in too many t’s.
June 25, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I’m so sorry you didn’t get your book signed! Wow, that really says a lot about how great he is though, that he stayed until 2 a.m. just signing books. And maybe the line moved so slowly because he was actually interacting with his fans. I love when famous people turn out to be awesome 🙂
June 25, 2008 at 4:33 pm
This was in BR? Well, it was an adventure, right?
June 25, 2008 at 7:26 pm
I don’t think I would’ve stayed either. But then I have been known to do some crazy fan things. So maybe in the heat of the moment, I would have. Who knows. That search term? Huh?
June 25, 2008 at 9:33 pm
If I have the opportunity to attend one of DS’ book signings, I will have him sign one for you as well.
Then I’ll mail it to you.
Ditto AB, if you’re interested.
June 26, 2008 at 7:11 am
Renn. You rock my world.
June 26, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Dood = forgery is the new black.
I’ll sign it for ya. No waiting required.
June 26, 2008 at 2:27 pm
The 40 thing means they were searching for “40 year old goy”. I think.
When Barbara Streisand was dating Warren Beatty, they had an argument and he flew out of LA promptly for an engagement in Chicago.
The headlines: “Barbara’s goy boy toy deploys annoyed to Illinois.”
(ala Berk Breathed).
June 26, 2008 at 3:32 pm
My son really likes Sedaris. I bought him a couple of his books for Christmas last year. I don’t think, though, he would have stood in line until 2 AM. I agree, sometimes book stores are clueless in planning. And, yeah, lots of trash for teen readers.
June 26, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I could’ve sworn Sedaris was an Oldsmobile…
June 26, 2008 at 6:21 pm
You know, his sister Amy was here last year and it was much the same. The book store (a local independent) hosted her at the Durham Armory in anticipation of the crowds, so at least there was that.
After she spoke, she signed. I had gotten my tickets very early and had two for spots 3 and 4 in line. I gave them to a sweet couple sitting next to me and left before she ever started. The look on their faces was just priceless. I think I skipped all the way home. 😉
June 26, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Good Lord, was he practicing his calligraphy skills with a feather pen or what?
June 26, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Why am I, rhetorically speaking, the only one who doesn’t know who he is? I really don’t want an answer. Illiteracy is not a good thing.
June 27, 2008 at 5:30 am
I’ve never been to a book signiing. But I agrgee with all of your unwashed LA masses: he is funny.
Unfortunately PS has completely ruined songs by Billie Holliday for me. Every time I hear her I only think of him mocking her.
July 3, 2008 at 1:54 pm
you are far more patient than I am.
August 1, 2008 at 2:21 pm
עוגה is the Hebrew word for “cake”. It reads from right to left, and is pronounced ooo-GAH.
I’m going to suppose the search was initiated by a Hebrew-speaker looking for guidance on a 40th birthday cake. No sign of wonkiness – at least not in this one.
I speak the language, so if you get funny search thingies like this again, just ask.