When I started writing this post (over the weekend), I was really, really angry. So angry that I logged in and started typing furiously. But I didn’t get to complete it right away. And I’m so glad. Because now it’s a different post.
Let me explain.
I started out angry because it was Saturday. And I was deep in the throes of collegiate basketball on tv. Just pure excitement. On Saturday night, one of the ‘big ones’ was on. UNC vs. Duke. (Some of you may have heard...) While I’m a true-blue-purple&gold fan most of the time, this is by far one of the matchups I look forward to. And in primetime? It doesn’t get much better.
But this game was different. Because despite the excitement of the fans in the arena, there was a big black cloud. Because despite the excitement of the fans in the arena, there was a moment of silence for Eve Carson, student body president, who had been murdered days before.
To make things worse, I had just found out that my niece was a high-school classmate of Lauren Burk, another college student who had been murdered within hours of Eve Carson. And my niece was driving in from college to attend her memorial.
So yes, I was angry. Angry at the thug mentality that prevails on the streets and makes anyone and everyone fair game whether they have $10 or $10,000 on them.
The post was ugly, and angry, and unlike what, and who, I usually am. It sat in my drafts until today.
Today, when I finally found some time to open up my drafts and possibly hit the ‘publish’ button, I felt a little better.
I’m still angry. I’m still mad as hell. But I received an e-mail earlier today. And it’s one that I had received previously. I started to delete it, but knowing what it was, I decided it might be a good idea to take a second look.
I’m so glad I did. I don’t know how many of you have had the opportunity to view this in the past. But it’s worth a look. Or a second look if you were lucky enough to see it the first time around. More importantly, it’s worth a listen.
After I listened to his lecture again, I searched the internet to see if I could get an update on Gary Pausch’s health. And I truly expected to find that he had died. But he hasn’t.
He is still fighting.
This weekend, I read an article about how your attitude — whether you face life in a negative or a positive manner — has an incredible impact on longevity. I’ve always been a big believer in this, and more and more research is backing up what I have always believed to be true. And the man that delivered his ‘last lecture’ is a testament to that belief.
So instead of this being an angry post, it’s one filled with hope. Hope that everyone realizes that life is full of the unexpected. You never know if you’re going to be the next Eve, Lauren, or Gary.
I’ve always wondered if I wanted to know when I was going to die. Frankly, I still don’t know the answer to that. But I do know this. We are all going to go. Somehow. Someday.
And we need to live each day a little more fully for that reason.
March 11, 2008 at 10:46 am
I am also a big believer in that. If you try to stay positive and be grateful for the things in your life, you will definitely have a longer, happier life!!!
That is so sad about all of those deaths, though. Makes me mad (and sad) at the same time!
March 11, 2008 at 11:17 am
The sudden death of my Dad 18 years ago taught me that lesson in spades. I just read the entire website you linked to, and am amazed at that man’s positive outlook. Astounding human being.
March 11, 2008 at 12:16 pm
It’s sometimes easier to be angry.
In the long run, however, it’s really just not worth it.
They are working really hard – locally – to find out who killed Eve. May they find him quickly.
March 11, 2008 at 12:21 pm
We saw Gary Pausch on TV and were blown away by his positive attitude. He is so right. We can’t be positive all the time, but we can certainly control our lives to the extent that we focus on the positives much more than the negatives.
I saw the game, of course, and I was pleased to see that Duke had passed out the Carolina Blue ribbons for everyone to wear in support of UNC. We will never know why Eve (or the Burk girl) were singled out for this horrible death, but we can learn a lesson from it. Live so that if this day is your last, you will have made a lasting impression on the earth and accomplished something good.
March 11, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much I’ve ignored all of the positive things that have happened in my life over the past couple of years, and really focused on the negative things that have been going on in the past few months. It’s amazing how we can let the bad overwhelm us if we let it. I’m sorry for the loss of those young people, and I’m going to try to smile a little bit more today, just because I may not be here to do it tomorrow, or the day after that.
Life really is too short!
March 11, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Absolutely . . no argument here. It’s often hard to live the glass half full principal but really, there is a bright side to everything. Being widowed at a young age gave me an amazing opportunity to build a unique relationship with my kids . . it made me self sufficient and strong . . . it gave me a sense of control . . .of course it plunged me into loneliness and depression for a while but the benefits have been enormous . .it’s all a matter of perspective and focus. I’ll catch up on the lecture on the weekend . .
March 11, 2008 at 8:35 pm
My father died suddenly and the shock was debilitating. My mother’s was a slow death. Attitude does have so much to do with recovery and progress. So true.
I hope for the sake of my family, I go quick. The professor on the video is one strong man. I saw his story before and was blown away by him, that’s for sure.
March 11, 2008 at 9:06 pm
while I missed the Duke UNC game due to a freaking blackout, I did get to read up about how most of North Carolina was affected by the murder of Eve Carson. Its hard to say what the world is coming to because it is hard to figure out how to comprehend it
March 11, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Dude. 🙂
March 12, 2008 at 5:21 am
I was recently able to watch Dr. Paush’s lecture for the first time and was incredibly touched and moved by his humor and spirit. I too immediately went looking for more info, expecting to find that he had passed away, and was surprised (happily) to find that he is still holding on.
To think, it wasn’t that long ago that sharing that video with the world would’ve been impossible.
March 12, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Bebe. You amaze and humble me.
March 13, 2008 at 11:30 am
They arrested the guys.
21 and 17 years old.
Jeez.
March 13, 2008 at 10:39 pm
We are so happy around here that they have caught the punks that took Eve’s life. What worthless worthless people. They had no reason to take her life. Just plain mean. I so hope they get the death penalty. I don’t believe in hanging on to bad thoughts, I believe in hope and a positive life but I also believe those boys should die or never set foot in the light of day. It is hard not to become angry every once in a while. The woman that beat her 11 year old daughter to death from NC is another case this week that has enraged me. I just don’t understand the cruelty that can be found in this world.
March 14, 2008 at 7:46 am
Wow – I cannot tell you how much it made my day to see that Randy Pausch is still alive and still fighting!
March 18, 2008 at 9:59 am
Eloquently said. Thugs indeed. I’m glad they’re caught – but they will always be around. The quality of our lives is defined in how we live anyway. I’m inspired, thanks to you!
March 19, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Eve Carson’s murderer is from my town. Its a problem that’s getting worse and worse….
March 22, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Thank you for writing this. In doing so, you’ve reflected a place I’ve found myself in so many times in my career as a journalist. First, I’m angry beyond words. And when I start writing, it’s nasty. Then I sit back and think about how good souls need to find the silver linings in dark tragedies.
You’ve given us a silver lining here. I knew you would. You always do, somehow.
March 26, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Where you at homie?
April 13, 2008 at 9:36 pm
i love you for reposting this.
although i hadn’t forgotten him, i just didn’t want to know.
i saw him on oprah and just cried and cried through his speech. it was good timing to see it again. everyone needs a reminder.
xo
jen