The setting is a convenience store, in the middle of nowhere, on a cold, mid-December day, Someplace, Alabama.
The scene (indeed, the entire play) opens with Wordnerd and daughter exiting a suddenly very cramped vehicle and gunning for the nastiest restroom imaginable. Mr. Nerd and Mr. Cool remain outside, fueling up said cramped vehicle.
WN and daughter enter the convenience store, use the restroom (employing one helluva balancing act), then approach the coffee machine. A coffee and a hot chocolate later (I didn’t think it could get this freakin’ cold in Alabama), mother and daughter approach the counter.
Cashier: That’ll be $2.12.
Wordnerd: M’kay. I’m a little afraid to take my wallet out in here.
Cashier: Excuse me?
Wordnerd: [chuckling] Oh, I just said I’m afraid to take my wallet out.
Cashier: [Silently stares down the offending Wordnerd, who has just looked around and discovered that she is surrounded by a bunch of black and Hispanic men who have no idea that what Wordnerd MEANT was that the place is filled with University of Alabama and Auburn University paraphernalia and that her wallet is emblazoned with LSU Tigers and NOT that she’s afraid to remove her wallet because she’s the whitest thing in there.]
Wordnerd: OH. Uh. Wait … no … uh …
Miss Priss: Let’s GO, mom.
Wordnerd: Keep the change!
January 2, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Fabulous faux pas!
January 2, 2008 at 2:39 pm
LMAO!!! Oh my heck, that is seriously funny!!
January 2, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Sad state of affairs but since you’re still alive, kind of funny now.
No kidding, your wallet too?
January 2, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Ahem. Paul? One wallet. Two purses. Three necklaces. Four bracelets. Two pairs of earrings. One jacket. 8 t-shirts. 3 sweatshirts. One antenna ball. Two car decals. One 6-foot Christmas tree, complete with all LSU ornaments.
And that’s just what I can think of off the top of my head.
January 2, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Remarkable.
Tattoos? Oh, never mind, that’s personal. But still one wonders whether that’s a requirement at birth in Baton Rouge…,you’re something else.
Geaux Tigers!
January 2, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Bwuahahahaa!!!!
Oh queen of the faux pas, I bow to you.
January 2, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Nope. No tats.
January 2, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Paul, there is…
I love it, WN.
January 2, 2008 at 6:13 pm
LOL. ….And Roll Tide!
January 2, 2008 at 7:07 pm
a – HA! I knew it, SA.
What is this Roll Tide, I wonder. Laundry soap shaped as a roll?
January 2, 2008 at 7:54 pm
I bow to the Queen!
I am SO glad that everything turned out okay, but didn’t you want to yell “Oh, read my MIND!”?
January 2, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I would’ve yelled GEAUX TIGERS!
January 2, 2008 at 10:52 pm
oooops! 😉 isn’t funny how trying to fix a remark like that just never seems to work?
January 3, 2008 at 12:45 am
I think you had better never go back there!
January 3, 2008 at 6:36 am
Whoops. Open mouth, insert foot. Was it a New Year’s Resolution to offend every race and creed? You can check two off already!
January 3, 2008 at 6:57 am
Smooth, very smooth Wordnerd. 🙂
January 3, 2008 at 9:55 am
I don’t feel bad for those people in the store. They should have cleaned the restrooms!
January 3, 2008 at 11:12 am
Insert mouth, open foot. Oh well. Glad you didn’t get beat up for your comment! 😉
January 3, 2008 at 11:13 am
Um, yeah…Strike that and reverse it. Open mouth, insert foot. Plus it’s already been said…
January 3, 2008 at 11:32 am
Nice header graphic, thee of LSU everything!!
January 3, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Oh my, that is a good one! I’ve had one of two moment like that and there is no fixing them, just get out quick. LOL
January 3, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Did the proverbial pin drop – could you actually hear it?
Great story!
January 3, 2008 at 4:08 pm
did you follow up with the obligatory “oh no, i didn’t mean anything. one of my best friends is half black/half hispanic…”
lol!
January 3, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Were you in Auburn, Alabama? We were on our way to Atlanta last summer and stopped in auburn to use the restroom and it was probably 12 at night… and I have LSU stuff all over my car. I was so scared we were going to get our asses kicked in auburn! LOL
January 3, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Uh-oh…I hate making mistakes like that..oops!
January 3, 2008 at 11:30 pm
See, all you LSU fans are just racists!
ok Im stretching here right?
January 4, 2008 at 1:18 am
I bet that was embarassing
January 4, 2008 at 2:53 pm
You’re killing me.
January 4, 2008 at 4:45 pm
LMFAO! Similar things have happened to me a few times… it’s funny how people just ASSUME the worst.
January 4, 2008 at 9:05 pm
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
January 5, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Silly girl! That’s when you should have WHIPPED out that wallet, showing it to everyone, and said, “I meant, ‘Go TIGERS!'”
And then bought everyone a coffee. And a Snickers bar. And a bag of Cheez-Doodlz.
January 8, 2008 at 10:34 pm
That is hilarious… in retrospect. 🙂 Glad you survived!
November 24, 2017 at 6:42 am
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