Yep. That’s me. Unequivocally. Beyond the shadow of a doubt. I AM the wife — heck make that the damned WOMAN — of the year. Because no one did what I did Sunday. Not without getting paid, anyway.


I stayed on my knees for over three hours.


Yes, I most certainly did. Fortunately, I had a cushion. Mr. Nerd picked one up for me one day. So my knees, you know, wouldn’t hurt.


Why? Why would I do such a thing? Well, it’s simple. Mr. Nerd does so many wonderful things around here that I thought, hmmm…he’ll never expect THIS. Let me surprise him.


Seven times.


What? Am I nuts? No. It was just his day. All for you, baby.


Sure I’m tired. Hell yeah. Kids didn’t even know what was going on until I hollered for one of them to bring me a damned bottle of water. I ache from head to toe and have blisters on both hands.

But as many times as he’s had to do it himself, it’s the least I could do.




Impressed? Ladies, stop whispering and casting ugly looks in my direction. Gentlemen, please don’t go telling your significant others what I did. It’ll only cause a fight.


Because not everyone can be me.


Not everyone can weed seven flower beds in one afternoon.




Um, what did you think I was talking about?