And then when I got me some kids of my own? Well…
Now don’t get me wrong. Y’all know me well enough by now to know that I don’t throw a bunch of sappy sentiment around here. And y’all also know that being a kid does not, in my opinion, make you automatically adorable. And that’s coming from a mom.
But I was talking to some co-workers yesterday, and we started telling stories of cute (and not so cute) things that kids have said. And I remembered this.
Except it’s not cute.
It is, however, funny as hell.
Let me ‘splain. See, back when Mr. Cool and Miss Priss were wee tots, Miss Priss indicated to her ever-so-big brother that she’d like to see what it’s like to use the restroom standing up. You know, like boys do. So the five-year-old big brother, in his infinite wisdom, told her he’d show her how. And so he did. One bright, sunny morning, they went into the bathroom. And Mr. Cool proceeded to show her how it’s done. Everything was going well, and I was listening/watching without them knowing I was listening/watching, when I heard him describe the process as such (and I quote, because I couldn’t make this stuff up): “See, it’s pretty easy. Except in the mornings when sometimes you have to bend the bone down.”
This is the same kid that was explaining how (back when he was 3) no one ever stayed in the same bed at our house. He would wake up, come crawl in with daddy and me, then later, sister would wake up, call for us, mom would go lie down with her until she fell asleep again, blah blah blah. Except that he told his daycare teacher “my mom sleeps around a lot.”
Then my daughter, after hearing my explanation that sometimes you just feel worse in the morning, especially when you have a cold, told her teacher that she was just having a little “morning sickness.” Except she was five.
Calling Larry Springer…