Announcing, with great fanfare and lots of really pretty little wavy flags, Wordnerd’s attempt at the most feeble, meaningless, worthless post. Ever. A post so lame, so pathetic in its sheer attempt to BE pathetic, that most readers will walk away, shaking their collective heads at the time and energy spent even clicking onto the link this morning. It’s that bad.
Because this post is totally about you owing me money.

No, not you. You either. You in the back? Nope. Actually, it’s none of you. Because none of you that read here owe me money. But because I have this passive aggressive sickness when it comes to people that DO owe me money, I can only demand it of you. I was born without the ability to remind someone that they owe me money. I can remind people of deadlines, I can remind people of appointments, I can tell folks what to do on a regular basis. But I cannot, for the life of me, ask people for money they borrowed.

Here’s the deal. The way my office is set up, it’s in pretty close proximity to the break room, where there are candy and drink machines. Inevitably, I’ll hear the “damn!” when someone has gone to buy a drink or snack and the machine is too full of dollar bills to accept their dollar bill, and within seconds, they’re tapping on my door. “Got change for a dollar? The machine…” “Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s full of dollars.” When I have a full dollar’s change, it’s no problem. When I don’t, well. OKAY. I know — to quote Jimmy Buffett, again, for about the third or fourth time in as many months — it’s my own damned fault. I offer them the sixty cents for the drink. Pay me back whenever.

Except they don’t. The guy over in Section II? You owe me seventy-five cents for that chocolate fix you had to have. Leon, you still owe me sixty cents from the other day. Yes, I know you brought me a drink one day, but I didn’t ask for it and I don’t drink regular coke so really, that doesn’t count as a payback. It counts as a nice gesture. Right? Most recently? Trish had forty cents, needed twenty, and all I had was a dollar. So she borrowed the whole dollar. And has mentioned twice in passing that she owes me that dollar.

I know what I have to do. Since I am completely incapable of asking people for money they owe me, I have to decline to be their little ATM when they come round. But what is it about that? What is it about asking for money owed that is so hard for some folks to do? Like me? And you? How are you when it comes to asking for money someone owes you?

LSU Update (Because you do care, whether you know it or not)
9/9/06 LSU 45 Arizona 3