So, yeah. I was deep in the summertime blues yesterday, questioning whether I should continue posting, wondering why the well ran dry so soon (when I was sure I’d have posting material for years), doubting my sanity.

But hey. I’m okay. You’re okay. Let’s hug.

I just needed something to get angry about. I just needed something to light a fire under me.

I needed to get on the phone with customer support.

And I feel so much better. Not about the hour I spent on the phone with this train wreck that calls itself customer support. But about me.

And my little not-a-blog.

I wish I could have recorded the entire thing so that you could have shared my misery minute by minute. But you’ll just have to take my word for it.

D*ll computers rock. You cannot beat their prices. We’ve purchased two in the past month. Affordable. Dependable. No complaints. The only problem was that one of the driver disks warped in transit. Heat, whatever. I called them to see about getting a replacement mailed. Shouldn’t be any problem, right? I mean, the order form was still in front of me. I had a customer number. An order number. A freaking waybill number (huh?).

Call ’em up, ask for a replacement. It’s not that it was even that big of a deal, because everything was already installed. I just know from experience that at some point, when you least expect it (and when you can least find it), you’re going to need that driver disk. So I decided, just for fun, to attempt to get a replacement CD.

1-800 wait. “We are experiencing a high call volume…please try us at wwwdotwait.” (Because THAT won’t frustrate you, no way, nuh uh. Has it crossed your minds that I already tried to get customer support from your site?) “If you’d like to hold…which you are going to do, and longer than you could ever imagine…please listen to 17 menu choices before you are told to press…” ZERO. Beat ya at your own game, guys. I know how this works.

Rrrrrrrring. “Thank you for patiently waiting. Can I have your order number?” Yeah yeah yeah. Several minutes later (“please hold while I access your account, since no one has done it despite our asking for your personal information at least a hundred times already”), she asks the question that she probably would already know had she actually given me the opportunity to pose my question to her in the first place. “Yes, I purchased a blah blah and everything is working fine. I just have a driver disk that is damaged, and I’d like a replacement.”

Blink.

“I’m sorry you are experiencing a problem. Can I have your order number?”

No lie.

I give the order number. I give the word-for-word description on the CD.

“I’m sorry you are experiencing a problem. Can you hold for two minutes?”

Honestly, this went on for about 25 minutes. Finally, she got back on, thanked me for “patiently waiting” and apologized, then dropped the big one on me. “I don’t have the technical savvy to take care of your problem. With your permission, I will now transfer you to our technical department.” Transfer me to the technical people instead of patiently waiting for your technically unsavvy ass to help me? Sure, why not?

Rrrrrrrrrrrrring. “We are experiencing a high call volume. Please visit us at http://www.dotwait.” Oh, so she wants to hold, eh? We’ve got her number.

Approximately ten minutes later, I get the voice of doom. It’s kinda like the dreaded blue screen when your computer crashes. “We’re sorry, but your call cannot go through. Please contact us again at 1-800-wait.”

Blink.

And yes. I did it again. I called 1-800-wait and talked to Kristy. She was very sorry I was experiencing a problem. And when I told her I just needed a replacement driver disk for my monitor, she told me there would be no problem. No problem at all. Hold please. Ok, now, if I can just get your order number. And what problems are you having with your flat screen monitor?

CAN’T SOMEONE JUST MAIL ME A FREAKING DISK?????

Sigh. Kristy was very pleasant. She thanked me for “patiently waiting.” As we were finishing up, she said, “all I have to do is contact technical to get the part number.” Ok, dear, sweet Kristy. I’m like the straightest woman in the world, yet suddenly I’m so hot for you. This is coming to a close.

“Um, hello? Thank you for patiently waiting. I cannot seem to get through to the technical people. They are having some technical issues.” (What else would you expect from technical guys?) “I’m going to have to call you in up to four hours, maybe longer, and give you a case number.”

I have been known to snap, people.

Endnote: No one called. Not even hot little Kristy.

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