Second. This morning, one of you, and I’m not naming names, turned your left turn signal on about two blocks prior to your turn. There were at least eight left turns in between the location where you turned on the blinker and the location you finally turned. I’m just sayin.
And while we are talking about people being in my way on the way to work — Hey. You. The work crews in the white vans on my personal shortcut to school. Left or right lane. One of the two, but not the middle of the road. Got it?
Next. Whoever made the coffee this morning? I just have three words for you. Two. Heaping. Scoops. It won’t kill you to make a pot of coffee that you can’t see through. Where do you think you are? It’s Louisiana and it’s Community Dark Roast. When in Rome…
Moving along. Mr. Cool’s social studies teacher? About the green army men used on the civil war battlefield project? Have you TRIED to find civil war soldiers in the store lately? Umm, they don’t sell them. We’re trying to get beyond that whole north-south thing. So grow some imagination and give Mr. Cool his five points back. Besides, don’t you KNOW that I wasn’t wearing Walmart shoes that night?
I could go on and on but it would only cause me to relive it all in my head again. And, as a wise old sage says from time to time, I don’t like that much.
So I leave you, for now, and go grumbling into my weak-ass cup of coffee. And remember this. The only way you won’t suffer through another post like this is to see to it, oh collective human race, that I don’t have another morning like this one.
May 4, 2006 at 9:52 am
I’m innocent, it wasn’t me honest!
Thanks for popping by our humble little blog, hope to see you again some time.
May 4, 2006 at 10:00 am
Hmmm, someone feeling a little sorry for themselves? Hope your day gets better.
Michele sent me.
May 4, 2006 at 10:07 am
It seems like once a day starts down that path, it’s going to be like that all day long. Hope yours improves soon. Maybe someone will magically leave a donut on your desk. Or $50.
May 4, 2006 at 10:08 am
Run! Duck! – She’s headin’ for the clocktower! AAAAAAAaaaa….
May 4, 2006 at 10:10 am
You and me both, my friend!
May 4, 2006 at 11:31 am
Your so right about the coffee! Weak-ass coffee makes me angry..grrrr..
May 4, 2006 at 12:00 pm
I love it- tell those horrible drivers what’s what! I live in Florida, so you can imagine what it’s like here….
And thanks for visiting the blog- I love yours too- and I will definitely be back!
May 4, 2006 at 12:06 pm
I came here from Michele’s to inform you, Wordnerd, that you’re putting a heavy burden on the whole of the human race…
I started to laugh out loud, but you’re serious, aren’t you?
May 4, 2006 at 12:10 pm
You are free to laugh out loud at my dead seriousness, sage.
May 4, 2006 at 1:12 pm
I hope tomorrow holds better-timed turn signals and stronger coffee!
May 4, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Damn, I had one of those white work trucks doing that to me this morning too! They must take an oath when they get the worker van keys to piss off fellow drivers by puttering along slowly in the middle of the road. Rage on wordnerd!
May 4, 2006 at 1:25 pm
I had to go to a school this morning to drop off football fliers to be distributed in take-home folders. Let me tell you… I have a whole new respect for parents that add that extra 20 damn minutes into their schedule to go through that maze of mom-traffic. All the cell phones… the curlers… I’m just now leaving the fetal position. I was certain I was going to get rammed by somebody’s Yukon Denali…
May 4, 2006 at 3:20 pm
Bravo! Well-said! Genius, pure genius!
Thanks for giving me my afternoon chuckle.
Here via Michele’s….
May 4, 2006 at 4:56 pm
I feel ya. Kristen above is definitely right about FL drivers. New Yorkers send all their dead people down here in Cadillacs and make them drive in the fast lane!
May 4, 2006 at 5:33 pm
Hi! I’m the guy who drives too slow in the passing lane. See you tomorrow same time?
May 4, 2006 at 5:34 pm
I’m sure it’s hard to find green army men. Because I looked awhile back for Cowboys, Indians, horses and could find them nowhere! That teacher obviously hasn’t shopped lately. (maybe he wears the wrong shoes or something too?)
Wow, new hair! How exciting! Hope it’s bouncing and behaving for you.
Here from Michele’s, but I would’ve been here anyway!
May 4, 2006 at 5:41 pm
heh heh heh… i was thinking exactly the same things. are you sure you don’t live in sunny california?
anyway, thanks for dropping in on me today! come by anytime.
May 4, 2006 at 7:46 pm
Well… I’m with you on every thing except for one crucial point. Elliott. I’m sorry, but that guy just has to GO!!
I hope this is something that we can grow beyond and not allow to come between us. But I have to tell you, my American Idol alliances are pretty dang strong. But I’ll try to look past this, really, I will…
May 4, 2006 at 7:53 pm
I don’t guess this would be a good time to tell you that the Dollar Tree has the little green soldier guys? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention!
May 4, 2006 at 9:15 pm
Sooooo funny!
May 5, 2006 at 7:55 am
that part about the civil war soldiers? and the creation of the project?
TOTALLY reminded me of a project in 6th grade where I was trying to construct a castle out of sugar cubes, but the glue kept melting the cubes.
DISASTER.
May 5, 2006 at 7:57 am
Points off for using the wrong little men in the project? Give me a break…
May 5, 2006 at 8:55 am
great post…
May 5, 2006 at 8:56 am
and the oooops for not saying
over from the other Michele’s
May 5, 2006 at 10:56 am
I enjoy your open letters. I have them too, only I voice them in my car and using 4 and 5 letter words…
May 5, 2006 at 1:33 pm
Elliot is such a good singer. My daughter thinks he looks like Fifel the mouse. She records Amer. Idol and so I have been getting into it these past few weeks.
An open letter to vent… good idea.
May 5, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Thanks for the visit today. No, #8 is not my story – but I have known some who were just about that clueless.
May 5, 2006 at 7:41 pm
Well I tried to let Stew be first this time but……
May 5, 2006 at 7:59 pm
An open letter….love it. A different kind of rant. May your coffee always be as strong as you. Michele thinks so too.
May 6, 2006 at 9:23 pm
I didn’t think you could MAKE a weak brew of Community Dark Roast. Obviously this person has studied at culinary institutes of the highest caliber and has received papers of some form or fashion qualifying them in piss-off-ery. π
May 7, 2006 at 3:30 pm
As I believe I was the coffee maker on the morning in question, I must advise to get your cup before unnamed co-worker waters the coffee down by adding extra water over the used grounds to “stretch” the pot.
DON’T CALL OUT MY COFFEE MAKING SKILLZ!!
May 7, 2006 at 7:46 pm
LOL … it sounds like a Monday already!!!
You had me giigling…too funny!
Michele sent me π
May 7, 2006 at 11:22 pm
My number 1 pet peeve is people not using their turn signals correctly. How hard is it? Are you a few hundred yards away from your turn? Take your hand and push up or down on that little lever near your steering wheel. If not, well…
By the way, Michele sent me.
May 8, 2006 at 9:37 am
I love Elliott, and have been voting for him each week. I’ve never been a voter before this season, but I just love that guy’s voice, and realness.
Michele sent me.
May 8, 2006 at 1:49 pm
http://www.nola.com/news/t-p/frontpage/index.ssf?/base/news-5/1146986995259510.xml
May 8, 2006 at 11:32 pm
Here from Michele’s!
1 – I couldn’t agree more on the Eliot thing. I think he is the best of who’s left.
2 – At least the idiot used his turn signal. Most people don’t … which I find far more annoying.
3 – Yes! Preferably the right lane … since it is the slow lane!
4 – I myself am not a coffee drinker. But I can imagine how annoying it is to have an inadequate cup o’joe.
5 – Ugh. WalMart = devil.
Love your blog!