It’s another open letter! Yep. Some places have open mic. I, from time to time, post an open letter. This time, it’s to the members of the human race. Not everyone. But most of them. The ones who have been working with one goal in mind: to aggravate and annoy the hell out of me.
First, guys, please. You put Elliot in the bottom two on Idol last night. C’mon.

Second. This morning, one of you, and I’m not naming names, turned your left turn signal on about two blocks prior to your turn. There were at least eight left turns in between the location where you turned on the blinker and the location you finally turned. I’m just sayin.

And while we are talking about people being in my way on the way to work — Hey. You. The work crews in the white vans on my personal shortcut to school. Left or right lane. One of the two, but not the middle of the road. Got it?

Next. Whoever made the coffee this morning? I just have three words for you. Two. Heaping. Scoops. It won’t kill you to make a pot of coffee that you can’t see through. Where do you think you are? It’s Louisiana and it’s Community Dark Roast. When in Rome…

Moving along. Mr. Cool’s social studies teacher? About the green army men used on the civil war battlefield project? Have you TRIED to find civil war soldiers in the store lately? Umm, they don’t sell them. We’re trying to get beyond that whole north-south thing. So grow some imagination and give Mr. Cool his five points back. Besides, don’t you KNOW that I wasn’t wearing Walmart shoes that night?

I could go on and on but it would only cause me to relive it all in my head again. And, as a wise old sage says from time to time, I don’t like that much.

So I leave you, for now, and go grumbling into my weak-ass cup of coffee. And remember this. The only way you won’t suffer through another post like this is to see to it, oh collective human race, that I don’t have another morning like this one.

Advertisements