Note: I don’t know what I have done to enrage the Blogger gods, but this post has been an exercise in patience…my cursor keeps disappearing mid-sentence and they won’t let me upload a picture. Soooo…imagine if you will, a picture containing all kinds of nasty junkfood. A picture that would have tied this whole post together. A picture, dammit. It’s all I asked for. Just a picture.

Sonofabiscuit am I ever tired. This is madness, people, madness. No human being should be forced to go to work after three days in the land of funnel cake. It ain’t fittin’…it jes ain’t fittin’. (Hmmm, come to think of it, neither are the “Monday khakis.” Too much fair food, p’raps?)

So if you hadn’t figured it out by now, we had our church/school fair this weekend. Three days of merriment and throwing buttloads of cash at people. Huge, life-threatening rides. Games. Legalized gambling. And all the beer you can drink. Good times.

And funnel cake.

God, that stuff is deadly, huh? Deep fried fat rolled in sugar. Aaah. Hear those arteries closing? The cake is doing its job.

See, I love stuff like that. Not just funnel cake. But carnival food. I’m a glutton for the stuff. I usually make an effort to keep my junk food intake to a reasonable level the rest of the time. But give me a carnival or a festival, and I’m up in the middle of the food booths. Nachos, burgers, jambalaya, chicken strips. But there was more. Outback Steakhouse, for cryin’ out loud. Italian food. They even announced yesterday that the funnel cake booth was serving freakin’ fried twinkies. Ignatius D. Reilly would be in heaven. And so was I. I mean, what else was there to do? Most of the adults’ time was spent sitting under tests with wallets open, waiting for the next rash of kids to come by and empty them. While drinking beer. The adults. Not the kids. Stay with me here. So the only conceivable thing to do was walk around the food courts. Again.

So I’m a slug today. Barely able to move. Between the sore muscles, the lack of sleep, and knowing that not one thing got done around the house the entire weekend, I’m beat. Not to mention the sugar overload my body is attempting to deal with today.

So what’s your pleasure? What kind of junk food really gets you going? You tell me, and hopefully I’ll be back with something a bit less sugar-infused tomorrow.

Today? This is all I got.

Oh, wait. Except for this. Because I know you have all been waiting to see if this poor girl finally got what she deserved. It’s sad. I’ll bet she’d give all the millions up if she could just hold his skeletal body one last time.