News from the roofing world! CHARLES! is in jail. The “Rapping Roofer” is, well, in jail. The rest of the guys? They would be, um, in jail. Not for anything they did collectively. It’s just an indication of WHO THE HELL WAS ON MY ROOF FOR FOUR DAYS AND LOOKING INTO MY WINDOWS AND EATING ALL MY CHIPS AND DRINKING ALL MY WATER BOTTLES!
And I know going into this that I have posted two too many times about my roofing woes. But you know, these stories make themselves sometimes.

My neighbors were so impressed with the work done by the Rapping Roofer and Asleep-at-the-Nailgun Charles that they got an estimate from the same fellow. Sure enough, his prices cannot be beaten. So the neighbors’ new roof got started on Monday. I was at home, having taken a few days off. And I wondered if Charles was in any better shape than he had been when he was at my house. But I never saw Charles, or John, or any of the other guys that worked on my job. Everyone was different except for the owner/supervisor. Hmmm, I wondered, think they’ll hit the neighbors up for water and chips? Hmmm, I wondered, will they borrow the neighbors’ telephone throughout the day? Hmmm…DING. Doorbell. It was one of the roofers.

He wanted to borrow my freaking phone.

The neighbors went out of town. And it seems that in the two hours since they had been on top of that house, two of the three workers decided they had had enough and didn’t want to load any more shingles up the ladder. So the lone working roofer needed to call the supervisor, because the two punkass helpers had shut down operations. So he needed my stupid phone.

Again.

I mean, I’m trying to be nice here, but these guys really need to get, like, their own stuff. Anyrate*, the work progressed (using a new crew) and should finish up today. Hubby went out to talk to the owner and got the scoop on his crew woes. See, Charles has this ladyfriend. She is extremely jealous. Charles gets whacked out of his mind on various chemicals and doesn’t come home. Ladyfriend gets furious. Starts screaming and cursing and accusing him of messin’ around. And then she usually pulls a knife. Well this time Charles must have had enough wits about him that he fought back. So now he’s in jail. Ladyfriend isn’t. He never calls the po-lice on her ass, but she always calls them on his.

I don’t even want to know what Rappin’ Roofer John or any of the other guys did. Ignorance is indeed bliss.

Besides, they are doing my other neighbor’s roof in a few days.

*if you don’t know that this is my long-running grammatical nightmare, you haven’t been reading long enough!

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