Ok kids, it’s time to play a game! It’s time to play “Where Has Wordnerd Been?!” I know, I know. You’ve been waiting and waiting to play. And now it’s your opportunity to win fabulous prizes. And all you have to do is guess where I have been! Ok, everyone in position? Hands on your buzzers! Not those buzzers, you pervs (you know who you are). The game buzzers. Now here are the rules. I’m going to give you a list of reasons for not having posted, and the first person to correctly guess the answer wins a showcase of fabulous prizes. Simple, huh? Anyone that knows me — and you all should, as I’m so good at this writing thing that all of you have a really good idea of who I am — stop laughing — I SAID stop laughing, dammit. ANYWAY. Anyone that knows me should be able to walk away with the grand prize giveaway. So here goes. Here are your choices:

Wordnerd has been:

  • At a Trekkie convention
  • At a Greenpeace rally
  • Reveling in the splendor of the holiday that is Valentines’ Day
  • At a Hillary Clinton 2008 fundraiser
  • Scratch the above. I can’t even joke about it.
  • At work, at home, at school, trying to be super-mom, super-employee, super-everything, being totally taken for granted and underappreciated and trying to be everything to everyone and not having one freakin’ minute to herself.

Bzzzzzzzzzz. Good job. You all win. There are no prizes. I simply cannot stretch myself any thinner to give you people prizes. So sue me. So. I have been working my little patootie off. And handling school stuff for the kiddies. And everything else. Yesterday was very interesting (that would be Thursday for the sporadic readers out there). I was asked to judge at my kids’ school’s Social Studies Fair. For those of you that are not familiar with these things, who have not had the good fortune to actually have to help your kids get ready for one of these things and I hate you for it I really hate you for it if you haven’t endured one, let me fill you in. This stuff is hell on a backboard. Take a topic, any topic, write a complete research paper on it, prepare a backboard with lights and sirens and all kinds of paraphernalia and submit it, pretending all the while that the kids, not the parents, did all the work. It is then judged, appropriately placed in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or total loser category, the winners are announced, and the crying begins. The kids do their best to console their parents, and life goes on.

So that’s what I did for the first half of yesterday. Then I went to work and tried to get a day’s worth of work done in a few hours. But there was a retirement party, with champagne, so the half-day got redistributed — half of the half spent working, the other half of the half spent drinking champagne, gossiping, and trying to drink enough coffee to drive out of the parking garage without taking out the security gate. Picked up the kiddies, traipsed across town to a basketball game, and got home 10-ish. Reaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyyy long day, guys.

But the social studies fair was fun. I’ve never judged one. My 8th grader had an entry, so they gave me the 6th graders, who work twice as hard because it’s new to the parents (I mean the kids). And there I ran into a conflict. What does a judge do when there is a perfectly crafted backboard with an incredible research paper accompanying it, all the t’s crossed and the i’s dotted, but you know it was parent work? And it’s sitting next to a good, not great, project done completely by the student? The best projects should win, right? Because the winner goes on to regionals and state, thereby making the school (and, in all fairness, the student) look good. But what does this teach your student?

I probably should mention that my daughter, a 5th grader, was involved in something similar recently. 5th and 7th grades compete in science fair. And my daughter, entirely ON HER OWN, had a wonderful project that came in second to a parent-project.

So there I was. Totally conflicted. I opted for student work.

Are you proud of me?

P.S. The brilliant Blogger spell-check recommends that I replace “buzzers” with “boogers.” Discuss.