Feeling a bit under the weather today and trying to hang, so this’ll be short and definitely not sweet…as a matter of fact, is there such an expression as “short and bitter?” If there wasn’t one before, there is now.

The morning started out badly and has gotten progressively worse. We just had to evacuate our building. This happens fairly often. First, because it’s a public building and we have required drills. But also, because it’s a courthouse, and we get our share of bomb threats. Finally, because sometimes something actually triggers the fire alarm, say, you know, a FIRE? This morning it turns out that the coffee shop workers tripped a fire alarm. Not surprising, since the place is ventilated for a little cigarette smoke (until recently, when smoking was banned in the building) and, at most, a little bit of microwave “steam.” Not for cooking. But the coffee shop people won’t get that, and they are constantly trying to cook, say, fried chicken up there. So something started burning and tripped the alarm, and we, like the good little lemmings that we are, traipsed down the stairwells to wait it out.

But a funny thing happened. One of my co-workers came downstairs and announced that our demagogue boss — not the true boss, but the No. 2 man in more ways than one, if you will allow me a teensy bit of scatalogical humor there had announced that no one shall leave the floor until he says so.

Funny.

I’m telling you people right now. If it were up to Mr. 2? We’d have been found in the rubble, hunched over our keyboards. That’s just the truth. Never married, no children, the man has no life outside this office. He resents the hell out of any kind of family leave legislation that has come to pass. And he simply cannot have something like a major disaster pulling his workers away on his watch.

“You know, kids, your mama was a good worker…”

Sheesh.

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