A couple of days ago I went on a rant about celebrities taking up causes they know nothing about. I thought I was done. But you know, I’m not. I’m never done. There are certain things that just get to me so freakin’ bad that I just can’t leave them alone. Naturally, you guys are the recipients — victims, perhaps — of my, umm, opinion. So here’s a heads up — I’m still on a celebrity-bashing bent and you can stop reading if you really want to.

You’re still there, aren’t you? I know it. You can’t stand it. Yes, sometimes I’m like a car wreck — you just can’t look away.

Anyway, a friend got me going this morning when she came in complaining that her car had not passed its annual inspection because a couple of teeny tiny lights were missing from her third brake light. And she wondered aloud how Kate Moss can be photographed with a straw up her nose and become even more of a gazillionaire, while my friend gets tagged with the big orange “reject” sticker of death. Okay, okay. So it’s a weird comparison. Or is it? Celebrities are only elevated in status by drug use and other “activity.” Let me tell you — if my kid, God forbid, got video-taped doing the same thing, his life would be ruined. Ruined, I tell you. I come in contact every day with people who are trying to get their lives back on track because something they did in their youth continues to haunt them on a daily basis. They are losing jobs because something a lot less than videotaped cocaine use remains on their criminal records.

It’s all different when it comes to celebrities. Well, except for Natasha Lyonne. That bitch is just downright effed UP. But you know, celebrities don’t think anything can touch them. Everything they do is about “the work.” Oh, bullhockey. Winona? You’re a thief. Paris? You’re a ho. Geena Davis? You just suck. By the way, it looks like her show, Commander in Chief, is getting put on “hiatus.” (Hollyword for “shitcanned.”) First it got beat out by “House,” which beats pretty much any show on tv hands-down, in my opinion. Then Idol appears to be kicking its butt. Umm, hello???? Anyone see what I’m seeing here? Maybe people are a little tired of having the Hollyweird political agenda rammed down their throats. Maybe they dislike Geena Davis as much as I do. (I really, really don’t like her.) Or maybe. Just maybe. It’s. A. Bad. Show. There, I said it, and it didn’t hurt a bit.

You guys know me well enough by now to know that I would say “I’m a liberal” only in the same sentence as “I love to vomit.” But these guys offend all sensibilities.

Color me offended.

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