Well now, I’m doing it. And this is a tough one to admit. But my 8th grader brought home an assignment. In honors English. And it had to do with topic sentences. And he told me that the rule is that a topic sentence, in formal writing, can never, ever include any form of the verb “be.” And as quickly as my daddy used to do it, I told him first, that that was totally insane. Then I said, well — and it really hurts to admit this — I said, “well, that must be the new way they are teaching.” Oh. My. God. Just put a freakin’ apron on me, take the Loreal #54 out of my hair, and call me old. Damn. I just referred to something as the “new” way. What’s next? Support hose? Taking medicine for my “pressure?” Oops. Never mind. I’m already doing that. But not because I’m old. It’s because these kids keep bringing home new ways of doing things. Of course my blood pressure is going to go up! It’s that damned rock and roll, I tell ya.
So it’s official. What the hell. But hey, before I go? I am actually intrigued. Are any of you young whippersnappers familiar with that writing rule? Let me know.
But make it quick. I don’t think I have much longer.