Item 1: This picture. Anyone who doesn’t know why this picture, taken recently, infuriates me beyond all reason needs to review my post of October 17. What a freakin’ hypocrite.
Item 2: The word “hypocrite.” Why is the ‘e’ silent?
Item 3: The lady in front of me this morning. Why did she even bother turning on her blinker after she made her turn?

It’s Friday, and the creativity gods have seen to it that I have nothing to write about. I’m scared to go off on one of my rants, since it really appears that that’s all I did the entire month of October. I happen to like being “angry and intolerant,” as one of my faithful beanbags called me, but I don’t know if everyone wants to hear who and what pissed me off on a daily basis. I suppose I could get a voodoo doll, but I’ve never seen one shaped, say, like a minivan. Minivans anger me on sight. Larger vans infuriate me. And the ones with the extra-high tops and a little window unit air conditioner? Add a ladder (to what?!?!?!) and you’ve got a full-out screaming mess on your hands, courtesy of yours truly. What is it about the people that drive them? I mean, they gotta be kinda messed up to even purchase one, but then I think that the few brain cells that remain leak out into the seat-that-folds-down-for-extra-storage compartment.

On a different subject entirely, why is it that the only songs that get stuck in your head are the ones you hated to begin with? Hell, I don’t remember even listening to the stupid songs in their entirety when they first came out. And I don’t listen to radio stations that play them now, so WHERETHEHELL ARE THEY COMING FROM????? The most recent one to invade my little brain is “Africa” by Toto. Dear Lord. (It’s from the ’80’s for all you young whippersnappers out there.) It has taken up residence. What am I supposed to do about this? I really think that the evil people — you know the ones: the ones that control the weather, use ‘it’s’ and ‘its’ incorrectly, and wear Disney attire even though they are adults — have a little chip implanted in our perfect brains, set the station to “soft rock,” and then close the door and leave.

(Psssst! Those people drive vans.)

Happy Friday!

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