I just discovered the one thing even more scary than thinking no one reads your stuff — knowing that they do. So now I’ve got my faithful followers (all 8 of them) breathing down my neck — aww, gee, why did I set myself up for this? Talk about your performance anxiety. Sheesh.

So it’s the week before Halloween — a holiday that we all loved as kids (and Brenda Love still, well, loves). One of the cable channels is running all the scary stuff, and I’m getting a kick out of watching it all. And that brings me to today’s question. I think we touched on this subject in Jeff’s comments recently, but I’m a shameless thief. What is scary to you?

Movie-wise, I watch the cheap horror movies for the sheer cheese factor. You know me and my guilty pleasures. There are some that are almost scary, while others are just laughable. Those don’t scare me. But give me a demonic possession and you’ve got me scared. I read “The Exorcist” in high school — slept with a rosary under my pillow and the light on for weeks afterwards. Still have not been able to sit through the movie. I won’t be going to see that Emily Rose exorcism one — I’ll wait for the DVD so I can keep shutting it off.

“The Omen.” “The Ring.” “Sixth Sense.” And “Blair Witch Project.” “The Shining.” (Not the remake.) Those are scary to me. But you know what really gets to me? That same channel is running this “scariest places” thing. The other night they had a group of (really stupid) girls that were going to attempt to spend the night in this abandoned sanitarium. They didn’t make the whole night, and I could have done without all the hysterical shit, but the building was extremely creepy. In the morgue area, they had this “body slide” that basically was a drawer-type thingie that they presumably used to store the bodies. Well the damn thing kept sliding in and out on its own. That’s what ran the stupid bitches off, and it’s also what made me grab a pillow. (Yes, it’s totally childish, but it goes back to my childhood, when we would all climb onto my parents’ bed and hide behind pillows and watch scary movies. So hush up.)

I love old, abandoned buildings. Hospitals. Hotels (we have a haunted one here). Oh, and prisons. The best. I guess it’s because I really do believe that there are spirits not at rest, and they wander around because of the very nature of the places they haunt.

I also have unexplainable fears. Like holes. Not in the ground. But like when you are having a kitchen redone, and they take the sink out. That kind. Hanging my arm off the bed. There are, ALWAYS, things under there.

Now that you have confirmed that I am totally off my rocker, tell me what scares you. I’ll be waiting. In a brightly lit room. With my pillow.