How humiliating. My sitemeter says that no one visited my page back on the 11th. How am I ever going to get my soda can question answered? Now I know why putting a counter on the page was a dumb idea. I mean, I know I’m a teeny tiny minnow in a big ass pond, but damn. Nobody read me? None of my six, count them, six, regulars even? OH. Wait. Never mind. I just put the counter on yesterday. Oops. Well, in the words of my favorite vintage SNL character, Church Lady, “never mind.”

Whatever happened to Dana Carvey, anyway? He was a master back in the day. I know he had some health issues, but I never hear about him any more. He got the curse, I guess. The curse of the guys that leave the show, make a movie, and wither on the vine. How many times has that happened, anyway? Why do people think that a funny skit will automatically become a funnier movie? We’ve all seen it happen, and it’s not pretty. It’s Pat? Gawd.

I’m tired today. Again the result of too much to do and not enough time to get it all done. I mentioned this to my co-worker, the one who sees “films,” not “movies,” the other day. She said that I reminded her that she needs to schedule a massage. Omigod. She doesn’t have kids, she gets to the gym every day, she shops at Whole Foods. And she schedules massages. We work at the same place, yet our lives are completely different. How does this happen? Here I am, thinking that everyone has my life, and it’s like people right next to me live in this parallel universe. It’s freaky. I mean, she doesn’t even think babies are cute. Ah, well, whatever.

I’ve ADHD’d all over the place today, and I would apologize except that I warned you in my first post that you could expect this. But enough — I’m annoying even myself today, so I won’t subject you to any further ramblings. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll do better. How ’bout I make a deal with you? If I can’t come up with anything better than this, I just won’t post. Maybe, maybe not.

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