Random


So, interestingly enough…

Halfway through the LSU-Troy game I started high-fiving myself for turning the tickets down.  Ha!, said I.  Everyone is sitting up there freezing their arses off watching us lose to a rent-a-win team.  But not me!  No sirree, bob, I’m at home, nice and warm.

Going back and forth with heavy loads of wet laundry.  From one house to another.  Because my neighbor was kind enough to offer her washer for me to finish the laundry that stopped mid-cycle when my washer decided to break.  (Why do they always break when they are full of dirty, soapy water?  Huh?  HEY!!!! LAUNDRY GODS!!! CAN YOU ANSWER DAT $HIT????)

Laundry is heavy.  Especially when it is wet.  And it’s cold out.  But hey.  I could be watching LSU get the $hit kicked out of …

Wait.

What?

LSU scored 37 points in the game’s final 16:26 minutes and staged the biggest comeback win in  the modern history of the program?

Let me get back to you on that a little later.  I have to finish wringing out, by hand, a load of half-washed clothes.

I love my life.

I can.  Very succinctly.

I’ve just been offered four tickets to the LSU-Troy game.

Tonight.

FREE OF CHARGE.  (Easily $180 worth.)

I.

Can’t.

Go.

The end.

This may be a dumb question, but do you ever get on your own damn nerves?  Do you ever just get mad at yourself?  Not, say, for handling something the wrong way or for not saying something a certain way in one particular situation.  I’m talking “just mad” at yourself for the way. you. are.

Well I do.  And I’m really annoyed at myself these days.  There are days when I’m somewhat ok.  There are days when I do the right things, say the right things, act right.

Then there are the rest of them. Like now.

I mean, what possessed me to make a snide comment to an acquaintance about someone else?  She and I aren’t even that close — just friends as a result of working together on parent-related things with our kids’ school.  The comment didn’t add anything to the conversation — in fact, I feel certain it subtracted something — and was totally unnecessary.

Do you ever feel like you just try too hard?  Talk too much?  Need to shut the hell up?  That’s how I feel about myself these days.  Not just with regard to the above.  With regard to everything.

There are close friends that I can say anything to, and I always follow it with, “well, yeah, I’m goin’ to hell” or something like that.  And they are the same way with me.  They are the people with whom I can let down my guard and say whatever.  And that’s not what this is about.

This is about trying to come across to people in a certain way.  And the self-sabotage that I often commit along the way.

This isn’t about the stupid thing I said the other night.  Not entirely.

It’s about how I am.

13 Things…with no rhyme or reason why they made this list.

1. I could never work in a funeral home.  It’s not scary or icky.  It’s just the possibility of the scariest practical jokes ever.

2. I really cannot stand L*ndsay L*han’s BFF/GF.  Does she creep anyone else out?

3. This time of year is the very best time to work where I work.  I have four paid holidays this month alone.  On top of that, I have extra vacation time that I have to take.  I won’t be a full-timer again till sometime in December.  And then my boss gives us a week with pay for Christmas.  Neener neener.

4. That was really, really braggy.  Heh.

5. I cannot imagine having to learn the English language.  Think about explaining the meaning(s) of a word like ‘sanction’.

6. This infuriates me.  That is all.

7. This will be lost on those of you who have yet to read the Stephenie Meyer books, but I just saw the greatest. t-shirt. ever.  “Edward Cullen <3… why aren’t you real?”  Sigh.  I need that shirt.

8. It’s really, really bad that I don’t have 13 random thoughts in my head.

9. Why don’t we sneeze when we are asleep?

10. I spent over an hour last night trying to explain possessives and plural possessives to a co-worker so she could teach it to her 3rd grade son.  Not sure what’s worse — that she couldn’t grasp it or that they are already teaching that stuff in 3rd grade.

11. I have been ‘volunteered’ to provide the dessert for my husband’s office Thanksgiving meal.  It will be the only dessert served.  Any ideas?  (I have to rock the place, you know.) I have several ideas, but I’m open to suggestions.

12. Is it 13 yet?

And finally…

13. It has come to my attention that when other bloggers list 13 random ideas and thoughts they are actually entertaining, but that when I do it, it kinda borders between desperate and pathetic.

I think I’m in a really bad mood.

I have a headache that would kill a small child.  My contacts feel like they have gravel in them.  I have way too much to do at work, yet I’m at home with a sickly Miss Priss, looking around at all the stuff I have to do around here.  Yesterday was The Nerds’ 25th Anniversary, so we celebrated by climbing into the attic and looking for the leaking pipe that had suddenly appeared and seeped water into the hall closet and master bathroom ceilings while we were at work.

And while the leak itself is now fixed, and I can go take something for my headache, and I can remove the offending contacts, and I can snuggle up on the couch with Miss Priss, I have to maintain my bad mood for the few minutes that it takes me to complete this post.  Because NaBloPoMo didn’t say I couldn’t whine.

Good thing.

I think I’m in a really bad mood.

Hey, 3 posts in 3 days.  Never thought I’d make it!  (Yes, I measure my successes in teensy weensy baby steps, thankyouverymuch.)  It’s not so bad, especially since they made the mistake of reminding us at the NaBloPoMo site that all you have to do is post — just post something. Heh.   Right up my alley.

And you thought you’d find substance here.  You’re funny.

Anyway, I thought we could all use a little humor on this Election Eve.  You KNOW I’m up-to-here with divisive political rhetoric and really bad commercials.  And I can tell, from your comments, e-mails, tweets, etc., that most of you are as well.  So here’s something to lighten the mood.

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.  Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he  recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: You betcha he crossed the road, but let’s not talk about that, let’s talk about energy policy, and how gosh darn hard it is for a middle-class hockey mom to manage the budget of the only state in America with a massive surplus, especially while surrounded by Countless Russian and Canadian chickens we have to keep an eye on.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure – right from Day One! – that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken…What is your definition of crossing?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am  now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain… alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’ That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

(For the record, I’m STILL snickering at the Ernest Hemingway one.)

…Some random thoughts today:

  • Shopping for a vehicle for your child is more difficult than shopping for one for yourself.  Sure, you want the best deal, a good warranty, etc.  But is there one that protects him from everything and everyone?  That gives him good judgment?  That tops out at 40 mph?
  • October is one of my favorite months here.  Except for whatever allergen is in the air that is making me one cranky, sneezy, sniffly b*tch.  (Hmmm…I almost make a full set of dwarves…)
  • Tuesday cannot get here quickly enough.  Regardless of the outcome, I am so over this election season.  Nationally and locally, it’s been one of the most divisive I’ve seen.
  • Regardless of the fact that my team is not playing like last year’s championship team, I am loving this football season.  And have fallen in love with Texas Tech.  Man, that game rocked.
  • There is WAY too much Halloween candy at my house right now.  And since I culled out the crap, there are none of those caramels with the white centers.  Who eats those things?  Blech.
  • My dog needs a bath, and that fact alone is keeping me at the computer.  Anybody wanna volunteer?
  • I really don’t think I can wait until July for the new season of Mad Men.  I really don’t think you all know how much I mean that.

I could do this all day, but since I’ll need some of those random thoughts on another day of NaBloPoMo, I’d better save them.  So, I’m off to enjoy a beautiful Sunday.

Which of you is coming to give the dog a bath?  I have candy.

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