The setting is the courthouse, where I work. Miss Priss has accompanied me to work for a couple of hours until it’s time for camp. And she’s hungry. We’re headed to the coffee shop. As we enter, there is a doctor, in scrubs, having a cup of coffee and obviously reviewing his notes for testimony later. At the table, in the seat opposite him, is a model of a spine.
Miss Priss: Mom? That man is sitting with a spine.
Me: See what drugs’ll do to you?
Miss Priss: Huh?
Me: Nothing. Just making a joke.
Miss Priss: Not funny.
Me: Gee. His date is nothing but skin and bone.
Miss Priss: Mom.
Me: I’ll bet she’s a pain in the neck.
Miss Priss: MOM! You’re not funny! [As she suppresses a giggle...]
Me: Uh…
Miss Priss: STOP IT.
Me: Oooo…baby…
Miss Priss: MOM…
Me: …got…
Miss Priss: DON’T…
Me: BACK! Baby … Got … Back!!!
Miss Priss: Don’t say another word.
Me: You know, after his testimony, he’ll be in the mood for heavy necking.
Me: Hey! Where…
Me: Miss Priss?
Miss Priss: GO. AWAY.
Me: Whaaaaaaat?
Miss Priss: Mom!
Me: Elevator’s here.
Miss Priss: I’ll take the stairs. I’m not getting in there with you.
DING. [elevator door opens]
Me: Hi.
Miss Priss: Don’t even start.
Me: I’m BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK.
Hee.
June 12, 2008 at 9:32 pm
you… complete me
June 12, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Those jokes, much like the 3 homers in the last LSU game of the super-regionals, were back-to-back-to-back!!!
GEAUX TIGERS!
June 12, 2008 at 10:11 pm
HA! Embarrassing the kid. Who in the Momhood doesn’t enjoy that?!
June 12, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Erica, I started to use that as my title.
Karen, I actually have a t-shirt that reads: “Embarrassing My Children: Another Service I Offer”.
Stew: I knew it.
June 12, 2008 at 10:24 pm
And my kids think/thought I am/was bad!! They should have had you around to make me look pitiful!! LOL
June 12, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Torturing the kids in public is a sport I greatly enjoy. We have the same sort of conversations but with dance moves or maybe some sort of singing as well or maybe even a combination of both. But I do have to confess that my husband is far better at it than I am.
June 12, 2008 at 10:54 pm
That made me laugh in such a wonderful way! I can’t wait to embarrass the crap out of my kids some day
You know she loved it though.
June 12, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Thanks, now I have the song “Back to Life” stuck in my head. Good times.
It’s one of the unexpected benefits of having the kids get older; my daughter is just now starting to reach the age whereby her father and I can embarrass her at a moment’s notice.
June 13, 2008 at 5:14 am
You are all cruel! But isn’t revenge sweeeeeeet! Payback for the supermarket tantrums and ice cream mishaps. Apparently I speak too loudly about surly checkout chicks . . hey, it’s a job, squillions haven’t got one so don’t pick your pimples while you’re handling my groceries and squeeze out a smile when you say “Hello how are you today?” – sadly the worm’s turned, mine are now in their 20’s and perfectly able to embarrass me at every turn “Hey mum, here’s the aisle with the incontinence pads!” Enjoy it while it lasts!
June 13, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Dude, my absolute favorite thing is torturing my teenage nieces, especially when I can tag team them with their father.
*sigh* Good times.
June 13, 2008 at 4:34 pm
I was not embarrassed by my parents. I don’t know why. This is funny though.
June 13, 2008 at 8:43 pm
My kind of mom!
June 13, 2008 at 8:44 pm
HA! I love it. Sometimes, I wish my mom were that witty. LOL
June 14, 2008 at 10:06 am
My husband tortures our 10 yr old. I just roll my eyes at the hilarity of it all. LOL.
June 14, 2008 at 2:42 pm
The “Baby. Got. BACK!” line caused me to roar with laughter.
If ever I needed to laugh, it’s today!
Thank you.
June 15, 2008 at 12:32 pm
You are awesome.
that’s all .
jc
June 15, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Love it.
June 18, 2008 at 6:43 pm
This, my friend, is one of the best parts of being a parent.
Poke- poke- poke…..