I got up a couple of Sunday mornings ago, took a look outside and saw a much nicer day than we had previously had. I had been worried that I’d lost a lot of what I had planted in the horrible storm(s) that hit my area, so I was glad to see that most (not all) had made it through. With that, and with a cup of coffee, I felt rejuvenated, so I sat down for some rare quiet time with only the Sunday paper for company.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun reading the obituaries with more frequency. Since I now only live about 7 miles from where I grew up, I’m still in touch with families from my childhood. For that reason, I check the obits to make sure there aren’t friends of my family (or, with more frequency, parents of my friends) listed. I gave the column my usual cursory glance and then prepared to turn to other sections of the paper. But something caught my eye, and I stopped to read it.
It was an obituary unlike most of those that are printed. First, it was really long. But secondly, and more importantly, it was actually written by the deceased. At first I cynically thought that a family member had attempted to be a little too creative by changing the grammatical person it was written in. But then I realized that that was not the case. It had truly been written by the deceased.
By the time I finished reading it, I had tears in my eyes for a man I had never known or heard of, but suddenly had great admiration for. Because if you can live your life in such a way that you are able to write what he wrote, you’ve lived a good life indeed. And if the people that are in your life can be written of with such love and gratitude, they too have lived the life we all should want to live.
I’m sorry for the family’s loss. But I’m not sorry that he chose to share his last thoughts with total strangers.
Because his words, written with all the honesty and truth that came as he approached the end of his time on earth, changed me. And who I want to be.
June 3, 2008 at 8:27 am
Very nice. A great concept that I’m guessing could either fail miserably, or be a great success as in this case.
June 3, 2008 at 9:50 am
Nice story, wordnerd, it sounds like he was a sermon on living.
June 3, 2008 at 9:54 am
I read the obits everyday too. Just a habit, I guess. And, having had to write 2 obits myself already, I like the pre-written idea.
June 3, 2008 at 10:16 am
Gives me chills.
My dad has been telling me that he wants me to write his obituary for years now. It used to creep me out, but the idea has sort of grown on me.
June 3, 2008 at 1:26 pm
That is so lovely!
June 3, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Ha! I’ll probably write my own I’m such a control freak. I’ve written many for friends, even one for someone I didn’t know which was then translated into Estonian . . .besides, other’s might not have anything nice to say eeek!
June 3, 2008 at 4:30 pm
I read obits every day in the paper. I love the stories of people. The strangest task after my mother died was to write her obit so I got one of my sisters to help with it.
I think everyone’s life story should be heard.
June 3, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I’m curious now about it. It makes such a difference in life to read somethign that touches you, doesn’t it?
June 3, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I once read that you should write an obituary for yourself- something you’d like people to say about you after you’re gone… and then BE that person.
I wonder why he wrote his obit. That makes me really curious. Was he worried that someone wouldn’t get it right, or that people might not know him well enough?
Did you get a feel for that?
Signed,
Always curious about sumptin.
June 3, 2008 at 10:05 pm
RG, I really sensed something completely different. I’m sending to you via e-mail to see what you think.