Mondays are my crankiest days. I know that’s a cliche’, but they really are. Not enough rest over the weekend, not to mention not enough time to get everything done before the 40-plus-hour-workweek rears its ugly head once again. Dumb people call my office with dumb questions on Mondays. Really, really annoying people attempt to drive on Mondays. I have a little cartoon on my bulletin board at work that reads, “Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?” — heck, people go to the freakin’ all-you-can-eat buffet on Mondays. There is a reason that elections are not held on Mondays.


Since this not-a-blog (stole your term, Metten — thanks!) is a work in progress, I was tweaking my profile and said to myself, “Self, you do not have to be apologetic about liking the movie ‘Napoleon Dynamite.’” Teen movie or not, I liked the damn thing. It was brilliant.

That led me to think about one of my all-time pet peeves (you’ll find I have a lot of them): pretentious movie snobs. Recently a group of my co-workers was discussing a particular movie that was about to open, and someone said — with a sniff, of course — “Oh, you won’t see me there. I prefer my movies with real dialogue.” Hmph. Not me. Not necessarily. I watch a movie to be totally entertained. Plot holes, lack of a real theme? Don’t bother me none. Like the Apple Jacks commercial — “I like what I like.” Don’t get me wrong — there is some real crap out there. But there are so-called “art films” that are equally crappy. And it’s okay to not like them! People will walk out of a perfectly dreadful film (there’s the tipoff right there — if they call it a film instead of a movie, get ready) and begin ranting about it because others are ranting or because they read a review and they are supposed to “get it.” So they go on and on about it because they “get it” and are therefore cooler, hipper, or more intelligent than the next guy. Problem is, they didn’t get it, because there is nothing to freakin’ get! The emperor is buck naked, people. Did you get that?